Kate Middleton isn’t the only one who should be in training for the royal wedding. There were 750 million people watching Princess Diana get married in 1981, and there could be up to 2 billion watching Friday.If you’re going to be a responsible viewer, you will need both information and endurance. Remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint. You don’t want to suffer an ill-timed sprained retina.
Herewith, I’ve devised a healthy training regimen that will get you billions of beginners in tip-top shape for the wedding. Don’t forget to hydrate!
MONDAY
“Wake Up With Al” (9 a.m., The Weather Channel): Al Roker is on duty all week in London. When even the Weather Channel is covering a wedding, you know it’s big.
“Modern Monarchy: Dos and Don’ts” (2 p.m., BBC America): Pinkies up! Brush up on your royal etiquette. And if you’re going to execute a proper curtsy, start training with sets of squats.
TUESDAY
“Untold Stories of a Royal Bridesmaid” (8 p.m., TLC): Prince Charles’ goddaughter India Hicks reminisces about being one of Princess Diana’s bridesmaids. You may remember Miss Hicks as the host of Bravo’s “Top Design” (I do!). Fun fact: She’s 521st in line for the throne.
“What the Sell?!” (9 p.m., TLC): The women of Wheaton’s antiques store the Perfect Thing tackle Princess Diana memorabilia and some Victorian-era lingerie in two episodes. OK, it’s a bit of a stretch, but they get an A for effort.
WEDNESDAY
“Royally Mad” (4 p.m., BBC America): Cat Deeley hosts five Americans, rabid for the royal wedding, in London. Back-to-back episodes.
“The Newlywed Game” (5:30 p.m., Game Show Network): There are royal-themed episodes all week, but my favorite is Wednesday’s installment: Couples from Queens, N.Y. On Friday, host Sherri Shepherd highlights couples named William and Kate.
“Wild About Prince Harry” (7 p.m., TLC): The ginger-haired rapscallion must now step up as the most eligible prince in the world.
THURSDAY
“TNA Wrestling Impact!” (8 p.m., Spike): It’s not wedding-related, but you could use a break about now. Think of it as a palate cleanser.
“Watch What Happens Live: Royal Wedding Spectacular” (10 p.m., Bravo): LuAnn De Lesseps from “Real Housewives,” clinging to that countess title, and Cat Ommaney, who has an English accent, join host Andy Cohen. They’ve already burned all social bridges, so it should be entertaining.
FRIDAY
At this point, you might be starting to feel in monarchy overload. But this is where you have to be brutally honest with yourself: Do you have something better to be doing at 3 a.m. Friday? That’s what I thought.
The more important question is: With whom do you want to share this historic occasion?
Katie Couric will be on CBS; Matt Lauer and Meredith Vieira on NBC; Shepard Smith and Martha MacCallum on Fox, and distinguished newsman Huw Edwards on BBC America.
For my money, though, there are only two real choices.
ABC: Host Barbara Walters has the inside connections, and you know she’ll wear something smashing. Co-anchor Diane Sawyer will add some class. Their entourage includes Tina Brown, author of The Diana Chronicles; Colleen Harris, a royal press secretary until 2003, and India Hicks, who is really working that Diana bridesmaid angle.
CNN: Ordinarily I’d recommend the female perspective for a wedding, but CNN’s lineup is tough to ignore: Piers Morgan is not only British with a tabloid background, but he’s had lunch with Diana (“very sexy, it has to be said”) and Prince William. And Morgan’s joined by Anderson Cooper, who is just about everyone’s fantasy wedding date. There’s a token woman, too, just in case: Cat Deeley of “So You Think You Can Dance.”
Afterward, take a nap, stretch, and then gear up for the post-wedding analysis.
“Kathy Griffin’s Insightful and Hilarious Take on the Royal Wedding” (7 p.m., TV Guide Channel): She insists she’s qualified because she once saw Helen Mirren at In-N-Out Burger. Required viewing.
“Royal Wedding” (7 p.m., TCM): Turner Classic Movies shows you how it’s done, with a spectacular lineup that starts off with Fred Astaire and Jane Powell in the 1951 classic. Stay tuned for “Roman Holiday,” “The Glass Slipper,” “The Swan” and 1927’s silent “The Student Prince in Old Heidelberg” with Ramon Navarro.
“Fashion Police” (9 p.m., E!): Giuliana Rancic, Joan Rivers and Kelly Osbourne should have plenty to work with, even if they just stick to the hats.
source: http://www.suntimes.com/entertainment/4957584-417/tv-watchers-guide-to-prince-william-kate-middletons-nuptials.html
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